HARD THINGS ARE LIFE CHANGING.

Thud, thud, thud....my pulse pounded in my ears, My legs felt like lead and it was shear will power to take another step. " Just one more step" I tell myself as I glance back at my wife climbing behind me, and stretched out behind was a string of 14 family members hiking in a single line. My shoulders ached from my 90lb pack and rifle . The youngest walking was 2 and the most experienced hiker was 54. We were hiking overland across the Colville national forest, a 17.9 mile trek with astounding views and solitude. " Five more minutes! " I yell out to the string of weary bodies following us up the trail. " Five more?!! I'm hungry! I'm tired..." my eight year old son responds. A sour look crosses over his face and His body language changes, I can tell he is reaching his limit of patience with this pointless walking... "You can do it!" I offer in the most encouraging tone of voice I can offer. " I can't do it, I'm dying!" he responds through his angry tears. "Come on Drew, you cand do it ... just a little more!" My Wife's gentle voice calls back to him. I glance at her in admiration, Her beautiful face looking at me, she flashed a little smile and her hazel eyes lit up with humor, as she climbed on my heels with her own 45 lbs. pack tearing at her shoulders and back. A pack that would defeat most "men" I know. She is made out of some cloth woven out of medieval chain mail n armor and marigolds...womanly yet strong. Now don't get me wrong...it is not that my son wasn't tough, he just had no perspective of the long term benefits of physical adversity , or of the rewards associated with testing your limits and doing hard things. He was just an eight year old boy...the important things that mattered to him was anything that had instant gratification....Hmmmm just like some "Adults" I know. What he needed was a new perspective...A reward. Now we know that we reap what we sow and as adults we will reap physical benefits, family memories, experience, and a sense of accomplishment from such and endeavor, but for a young boy who loves entertainment, there was not much of a reward to hiking. We were in the process of eliminating video games from our life but we had one last holdout...one of those "harmless" Nintendo Switches. "Hey Buddy" I pipe up " If you lead us out and don't complain, I'll let you play your Nintendo when we get to the truck!" "Really?!" he responds with doubt in his voice. " Yep" I wheeze out with the remaining air in my lungs. I glanced back at him just in time to see the look on his face change, his pace immediately picked up almost to a jog and he started passing the others in the group. Suddenly there was some unknown strength in his body and determination on his face. He had a goal to reach and a reward to reap. He pushed past me and I noticed the other children fed of his renewed vigor and picked up their pace . I exchanged a look with my Wife then I called out for a break. "I'm gonna keep going" my boy responds to my call. What had changed? He finally had a concrete goal and a reason to keep on pushing. His momentum kept up with little to no reduction for the remainder of the trip and we were all amazed at his fortitude. He had transformed from being the weakest member of the clan to the strongest leader. After two and a half days of hiking we finally made it out to the waiting vehicles where he got an opportunity to work on his patience and long suffering as we could not find a cord to charge the now dead game . Now we know that he gained other rewards than just the fun of playing a game, but those were benefits that he would come to know and use later.

Now as adults, some of us have developed the ability to appreciate overcoming physical pain, or of practicing self-denial. And as much as we dislike trials in our lives we have some understanding that they eventually end, the sun rises again and we will be of a stronger character. At least we know this intellectually, but the reality is that we seldom remember to remind ourselves of the goal and the rewards. We wallow in self-pity and discontentment complaining to our spouse, friends and God about how difficult this time is. I like to remind myself of the progression I have seen, in my sons life, in less than a year. We have gone from a complaining, dying boy to a strong, motivated child that can lead the pack. Now almost a year later, and having completely eliminated video games and television from our lives, we started to climb a local hill in our local area multiple times per week, sometimes as the whole family and sometimes it will just be me and a few kids. The first time we climbed up we summited the hill in a total of 24 minutes and 48 seconds. Now those of you who know me know that I am extreme in every thing I do. My wife, must often, gently remind me that I am leading a group of small children and not a unit of seasoned special operators on a secret mission moving across enemy territory where every second counts and everyone's lives depend on setting a speed record. So I found a way of encouraging my offspring that we needed to reduce our time. My oldest daughter is always game to please her father and my youngest daughter is a willing participant in my quest. The second time we climbed we made it to the peak in 21 minutes and 50 seconds. We all enjoyed the fact that we were able to reduce our climbing time. I challenged my Children to climb the hill in 18 minutes and there would be a $5.00 prize. We pushed really hard and managed a climb in 19 or so minutes. I called a pow-wow and we discussed that we probably took too many breaks to catch our breath and we would need to reduce our rests. After a few more tries we successfully climbed to the top in 18 minutes with my son setting the pace for everyone...at the lead of the pack. The level of excitement was incredible! The kids kept mentioning how proud they felt and how amazing it was that their bodies became so much stronger! The $ 5.00 prize seemed to be less important than the sense of accomplishment they experienced! My son asked what the next challenge would be...the same son that was struggling with a simple hike wanted to challenge himself to the next level! The pride that I feel concerning my children's character is making me smile as i write these thoughts! I challenged them to a 15 minute climb! I could see flashes of uncertainty cross their faces, unsure of the reality of achieving such a goal. The next time we climbed it worked out that only my oldest son and i could climb that day. We set off at a withering pace, determined to summit in our best time yet! About three quarters of the way to the top my lungs were screaming for air and my legs burned like fire, my son slowly but steadily gained on me, I pushed hard and he pushed harder! As we came in sight of the post at the peak the race was on but i had lost too much ground to make up. As he summited I glanced at my watch...15 minutes on the dot! I straggled in 15 seconds later and fell to the ground gasping for oxygen. I lost and he won! Ouch that was hard on my pride, but I was so impressed with his strength! The grin on his flushed face said it all! He was successful!

Now in our lives we set goals, some to be financially successful, some to excel at their career or trade, and others to be great fathers and husbands. Sometimes we have several goals set at the same time that compliment each other or help us reach the end goal. We need to have several ideas set to be successful at what we want to achieve.

#1 We need to have a CLEAR goal set of what we want to achieve long term. (Write it down.)

#2 We need to set mile markers, that are readily achievable, so we can have small successes to encourage along the marathon. ( these need to be difficult enough to build character)

#3 Education. Read books, listen to podcasts, or get deeper in God's word in an effort to learn from others experiences or listen to their thoughts. ( There is wisdom in counsel )

#4 Stick with it! You will fail sometimes but pick up where you left off!

I have attempted to quit my caffeine addiction several times, albeit unsuccessfully (a short term mile post along my way to becoming a disciplined man). I've been drinking, multiple cups of coffee, since the age of twelve. Rain or shine, 100 degree weather or -15 degrees, I love to drink coffee. The mile post was set, not because it was terrible for me and left me dehydrated, but because it was a habit that consumed me and was holding me back from being the Man of character and Father that I wish to be. I "Quit" several times but would eventually fall off the band wagon of miserable tea drinkers, and start brewing some liquid bliss again. It usually started with a cup here and there.... I needed some education!

My wife encouraged me to read a wonderful book called Atomic Habits authored by James Clear. ( A great book to read). Through his teaching I was able to understand that successful people take it one day at a time and change their perspective. Things like asking yourself the question " What would a disciplined person choose to do?" Or, "I know I allowed myself to drink one cup but I will not throw the baby out with the bathwater and start drinking again." He suggests that two jars with marbles may be a great way to visually measure our successes and setbacks. Mark one "Winning" and one "Setback". With every win we place a marble into the winner jar and with every setback we place one into the bad jar. You can set this up in a public place to become accountable to others or you can develop the idea into some variant that works for you. I personally have a score card in my head and compete against myself to win. This has been successful, but in hindsight, I will use the jar method with the next mile post.

Perspective matters too. How do you see yourself? A child that is always told that he is a "bad boy" will rise to the expectations of everyone around him. I was often told by my peers and others that I was a rebel... so I saw myself that way, it became my identity. My wife shares that she was subconsciously made to feel unconfident in the way that God made her and less intelligent than others, so that is a battle she fights to this day. Do I see myself as a strong man gaining ground or as a loser hoping for a win? Our attitudes towards people around us that are trying to change or that we hope will change affects them also! Lets remember that and try to see folks through the lens of love and realizing that we were each uniquely made by God!

Folks! Success' come with hard work and pushing the limits! Its not an easy path and our perspective and goals need to be set right. My favorite author , Joel Salatin, says in his book, Pastured Poultry Profits, that "People who want to farm must be committed enough to sacrifice for it". How much do I want it? What will I choose to sacrifice?

What are your Goals? How can I help?